Wednesday, September 14, 2011

A challenge.....

I read Stephanie's blog this morning and she challenged us to Blog Our Hearts.
So, here goes, as pain - filled as my heart is lately.

Right now my husband and I are walking through a dark place together. The worst part of it is that I have caused it all. I never planned on telling him about my feelings, but it came out and it really needed to. Selfishly, revealing my feelings to him means that there are no secrets between us now, and that feels good, even though this time right now is painful. I am blessed with a husband, who, although he has been crushed by this unburdening of my soul, loves me and wants to work it all out. I'm hoping and tentatively praying (because my faith is somewhat lacking at this point in my life) that in the end we will be stronger. We have spent the last 20 years of our lives loving each other and he and I are not willing to let that go.

Right now I'm thinking a lot about 2 friends who are dealing with two separate extremely hard things. I wish that I could do more to help them, but there really isn't anything to do other than offer a listening ear if that's what they need.

Right now I'm thinking about what I really want to do with my life. I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something more, but I'm not sure just what that is yet.

Right now I'm looking forward to a weekend away at Scrapfest Oshawa next month. It will be my first time going to an event like this; I'm so super excited!!!! I am taking 2 classes, one with Becky Fleck and one with Vicki Boutin - really looking forward to them!!

Right now I am helping my very best friend plan her spring wedding. I'm so super excited and happy for her!

Right now I'm trying to un-clutter my house. This is a long arduous task, and one that I really hate. I'm a bit of a pack rat and letting go of things is hard for me.

Right now, I don't feel like I am a good mother.

That's it. That's my right now. That's what's real in my life.
I hope you take up the challenge of Blogging your Heart.


Stephanie Howell said...

wow. this was brave of you. wish i could give you a big hug. hoping and praying that you find peace and happiness soon. xxo

Mariah said...

Wow, that was very brave of you. Thank you for sharing, and I wish you the very, very best.

D@nielle said...

I somehow stumbled upon your blog via 2peas with the search through members with the word "netherlands". I just wanted to mention I really like your layouts and then I saw this post. Very brave of you to blog so honestly about your whats in your heart we share a few here and there and even though we don't know each other I wish you lots of luck & strenght get through the real things ;)